mediation is a thankless task but looking after pets is not

i risk losing someone for the sake of my own peace of mind. grappling with somthing that was never meant to be in the first place really hurts. naturally, some would say, you can't lose what you never had. did I, did we or do we, have anything? i want to......i hope we did......could it all have been just an over-reacting imagination?

a commotion happened at the club today. 2 male members almost came to blows. Mr. A asked Mr. B if it was appropriae for his 3-yr old daughter, junior B, to be in the male changing room. i did not know what was said but heard a very big argument in the locker rooms with the little girl screaming and crying. by the time i went in, all i heard was Mr. B calling Mr. A a bastard and trying to make him a lousy parent. in this case, i felt neither one was wrong but neither was both right. Mr. B for calling Mr. A a bastard countless times and Mr. A for using the wrong choice of words which triggered Mr. B off. mediation is such a thankless task, i tried but they wouldn't listen. in the end had to get a manager to talk with them.

i finally saw my favourite female member today. yeah! she was sick for sometime and i missed her coming on the previous 2 weekends. wow, she looks so beautiful now. when i first saw her, first thing that came to mind was, WOW! next was, "Damn, She's attached". hahaha. she rebonded her hair, trimed it a bit to shoulder-blade length and colored it back to black. you can call me a MCP but i have a soft spot for gals with long hair especially those with long, straight and black hair. in case u are wondering, she's 25 like me but graduated from NUS for about 3 years now. she's very nice and polite too. much like a person who USED to be my confidant. ahh man...such gals are few and far between, her fiance is so lucky. i wonder when i'll even have the joy and fortune of having a gf.

till today, why do people still insist on dressing their pets? it look very wierd. i was cycling home after work and as i passed by Tiong Bahru Plaza, yes the 2 Old English Sheepdogs were there (my favourites...heeez), i saw a small dog (not sure of the breed) all decked out in Ocean Pacific gear. i didn't know OP made sizes so small. it even had goggles on. hahaha. the sight was funny but i can't imagine the distress the poor dog had to go through. dogs are not scary. i'm willing to help you if you got a phobia of dogs. i've been chased by wild dogs, fought with a hungry mother dog, yet i still do not fear them. they are really lovable companions who are just out to protect themselves or their young when faced with danger. however i know i have neither the time nor money to commit to one now, so i'm just going to continue my pet-shop window shopping for now.

inside all of us, there is a child

i came to work today bearing my laptop. as my workplace is pretty boring and there is not much to do, i usually entertain myself by watching DVDs. but what about your tutorials? you may ask. i prefer to do my tutorials at home and closer to the exam period. this year though, i'm going to work that little bit harder.

back to the movie i watched first today. it was finding neverland, released in 2004 i think. yupp, the movie staring johnny depp (edward scissorhands, pirates of the carribean, charlie & the chocolate factory) and kate winslet (titanic, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind). it is a story about a playwright (johnny depp) who befriended a widow (kate winslet) and her children. it goes on to tell a story of how we can explore and enjoy so many things in life if we only indulge in our imagination. i found the movie very touching as it is not so much lovey dovey but more about releasing the child in you and enjoying life. it is a very meaningful movie. i could go on more about the show but i do not want to spoil the story for others. if you got the chance to watch the show, do catch it, borrow it or get it from upnorth, whatever. it really is a good show.

another day, another dedication

i'm must be going mad. i sent in another song request dedicated to her today. Played at around 5.10pm today, i requested for Boyz II Men's On Bended Knee. this time, i got the song i wanted. woopie!

hmmm...i was just thinking today though. if someone does not take M463 but attended the lecture and sat alone throughout the entire lecture, i'm guessing only for the sitting alone part, what is the person doing there for? if the person wants something, the person has got to say it. if it has anything to do with me, though i do not think i have such charm, state your case and claim what you want. i'm not unreasonable. much as i am obnoxious amd uncouth, i am actually a nice guy underneath. everyone knows i'm more nonsence then harmful.

more part-time work tomorrow morning. thereafter, coming home to start on some tutorials. this semester's target is to clear all my modules. must start being a "good boy". hahahahaha.

lunch with the guys

came to school late for my lecture today. bad boy i am. i then went around looking at the carnival the union had put on as a welcome back sort of thing for the students. i for one am not happy to see pets being openly sold at this carnival. although university students are supposed to be matured people, working term being supposed, many of them, both guys & gals, will still be tempted to buy them because the gerbills and the rabbits look so cute. even the rabbits reminded me of Orange. pets are a commitment and should not be bought on impulse because it will only lead to abandonment when they are no longer cute or when they become a chore to look after, whichever strikes first.

another big turn off at the carnivals are banks and insurance companies. don't the MAS already have some provisions of allowing people from signing up for credit cards at road shows. this same provision should be enforced upon debit cards too. i agree that unlike credit cards, debit cards relies upon each individual's account balance, much like NETS, but it is only the step of getting the students hooked upon payment by plastic, and soom their own credit card upon graduation. i agree that credit cards are a convenience, given that i am a user myself, but with the high number of bankruptcies in singapore, something has to be done to stop this downward spiral of uncontrollable spending of "future" money. then again you might argue that this is where self-control has to be exercised. if self-control is so easily exercised, then why do so many people still smoke? if the temptation is not there, the deed will not be done. simple as that. i'm not saying that everytime we find something wrong we go, "get the government involved, ask them to come up with some policy". that is the wrong way of getting hings done. more should be done to educate the public of the pitfalls of credit card usage, or for any vices for that matter. credit card users shouldn't think that, if they can't pay, they can always apply for bankruptcy protection. that is plain shirking of responsibility. another thing would be the Insurance companies. they keep asking us to sign up for some health policy or to take up some form of financial planing. if we want, we would approach you. there is no need for the in-your-face approach. they are starting to be as big a turn off as MLM, and don't even get me started on MLM or Network Marketing.

saw malcolm, frankie & desmond at the fair today. i had wanted to go for a swim today as i had a 3 hour break after my M463 lecture but frankie asked me to join them for lunch. ah well...i am still feeling some aches and pains from yesterday's exertions.

hanging around at the library now waiting for my M462 lecture. tutorial-less module, lectures must attend.

ah chooo! sniff sniff...

the swim today brought out my sinus. man, i feel like i'm running a slight fever now. i just took two of them yellow flu tablets, them drwosy formula kind. hope i'll get well by tomorrow morning.

she noticed me having a sneezing fit today outside LT1 and finally approached me after i had ignored her for 2 days. we sat down and had a drink and chatted some. she seemed unhappy when i signalled for indra to join us. thing is, i ignored her for the first 2 days because i was sick of being led around like a puppy dog. yes, i admit i like her but since she never wanted to give me a chance and had never seen me as anything more than a friend, i'm not going to force the issue amymore. afterll, since we both have different stands, why not just let each other go? she has so many friends and suitors and since i ain't "the one", one less Alvin would not matter anyway.

on another note, i dedicated another song to her today. hahahaha. I requested for Def Leppard's Miss You In A Heartbeat but Jean Danker played Two Steps Behind instead. ah welll...at least she played my "request", around 7.10pm-7.25pm i think. heck, i don't even know if she listen to class 95fm. by the time my final class ended today, i did not get to see her at all. no worries, i still got this semester's project class. different grouping but same lab and time slot what. heez.

arrrggg. my head's getting heavy. i think i should get some rest soon to allow my body to recover. sniff sniff,

stoning knows no bounds

i'm in school today from 0830 till 1830 but have only 4 hours of lecture to attend. i got a gaping 4 hour break and another 2 hour break sloted in between. the olng gap was meant to allow me to work on my FYP but as i'm still reading up on the background information, there ain't much to work on as yet.

i'm currently in the library stoning away till my lecture starts at 1730. i could skip it as it is the lecture of my failed module but.......i'm trying to pass all my modules this semester so thing have go to improve on my part.

i went swimming during the 4 hour break earlier. when i started i was thinking of doing 30 lengths only. however, half way through, i decided to push my self abit more and was aiming for 50 lengths. later on, thinking that since i have plenty of time on hand, i might as well push for 100 lenghts, just for fun. i started around 1030 and after 6 lenghts of breatstroke and 100 lenghts of freestyle it was 1320. taking a quick shower, i changed and rushed off to my lecture. i had mixed up my lectures and headed to the wrong LT. by the time i arrived at the LT, it was already 1340. well...better late than never.

i didn't get to see her today. not fated i guess. a friend of mine told me that the class list for M464 was out on edventure and when i checked. damn....same time slot but different groups. at least i'll get to see her once a week for 2 hours minimum. and malcolm claimed i was trying to erupt a volcano when i mentioned this possibility to him last night. hey......thing is, much as i like her, i do not even approach her and only admire from afar because she hates me and i just do not know how to settle the issue. and even after how she has treated me, i am still very very fond of her.

them hedious looking matriculation card photos

there was no school today as it is NTU's annual flag day. one of the beneficiary this year is the NKF children's fund. hmmm...good luck to those volunteers out there trying to get donations. lazed at home the entire day, watching DVDs and napping.

around noon i decided to check out the edventure website for any updates and happen to stumble across a little known place called class photo list. with so much time on hand, i went through all the modules i am attending this semester and collected all the photos of people whom i had worked with or am close with. now i know why some of them refused to show me their matriculation card. we all looked so hedious back then. hahaha. i had such a big fat head that my friend studying in australia thought that i was beatened up. oh my, i was so hedious.

in the pictures that you are about to see below, i have attempted to find pictures which were more up to date so that you can see how much we all have changed. you will notice that the guys have not changed much but the gals, they have all blossomed.

Indra back in June 2003 & Indra at a BBQ in Dec 2004

Kah Leong back in Jun 2003 & Kah Leong 6 months later at EID in Dec 2003

Sam back in Jun 2003 & Sam 6 months later at EID in Dec 2003

Malcolm some time back in late-2002 early-2003 & Malcolm 6 months to a year later at EID in Dec 2003

Celest back in Jun 2003 & Celest 2 years later partying in July 2005

1) Me at my Poly Year 3 exhibition back in March 2001.
2) 2 weeks into BMT in August 2001.
3) 3 months later in December 2001 at my Passing Out Parade after receiving my Platoon Best Trainee Award.
4) Fast foward 1.5 years later to June 2003.
5) This picture was taken 6 months later in December 2003 at EID. That was the happiest period of my life and that particular day when the photo was taken is the happiest day I had ever have in NTU because of what someone told me on that day.
6) 8 months later in August 2004, at the library studying after having been shut out by a certain someone.
7) Went diving in September 2004 to relax.
8) At a BBQ in December 2004, celebrating the end of our Inter-Semester session. (My last photo with my full set of teeth present)
9) 6 months later in June 2005, after passing my Bronze Medallion test to be a certified lifeguard and after 2 near-life-ending accidents
10) A week before term reopened in July 2005, taken at the roof top of the Esplanade

restarting the motor has to be sooner rather than later

too long away from school, the motor is abit rusty. had lunch with Malcolm today. the last i saw him was back when we when to buy the bicycle. caught up abit. things seem a-ok for him.

i saw her today while moving from LT1 to LT5. she was blocked by our common friend. ahhh....on my way home i even text in a sms dedication to class 95fm. and it was played finally at 8pm. hee hee. Cliff Richard's Ocean Deep.

first day of my final year - a recollection of the past 2 years

today is the first day of my final year at NTU. wow, time really flies. it seems only yesterday i was having an interview with the vice-dean (acad) regarding my entry into NTU. now, final year. this past 2 years have not been without some ups and downs. made a few friends here and there. fell for a gal or two here and there. openly wooed 2 gals at different times. rejected countless times with no success. hahaha. well...



I came into NTU looking like the above pic. yup, this is the pic on my matric card. i came into NTU without any friends. they were either my seniors or were in NUS. i knew of nobody in the same course as myself. on the first day of school, i met Indra. a very jovial guy, loyal to the core. we matched our timetables and were surprised to find that we had similar timetables and decided to hang together. till today we still do although we have since have had separate group of friends. he hangs with his new group of friends while i prefer to move on alone. well...there is a reason why i'm alone now.

Indra is the guy next to me in the pic

In the middle of my 2nd year, i came to work with the greatest bunch of people i have ever knew. all 10 of us were linked to together mysteriously through a common module, M249 Communication Skills 2. though different tutorial groups, we first knew each other in our various comms skills classes and then through other module tutorials. those 5 weeks was pure joy. we utilized the tutorial rooms fully back then. watching movies, playing gunbound, listening to launchcast. to think that at the end of those 5 weeks, we actually won the first prize in our category. even today, 1.5 years after those glorious 5 weeks, i have never found the joy ever since. those were my best 5 weeks in NTU.

All smiles while cradling our trophy.

to help me ease my psychological problems, i even went on a diving trip to Tioman. underwater, i felt so liberated. i am what you could claim tobe a water baby. i simply love the water. when down there, my troubles just floated away, even if only for a while. the scenes were breathtaking.

Nemo in it's natural environment. This was taken on the trip and not pulled from some diving website.

This shot was taken by a fellow boatmate for me when we were at 12 meters underwater.

My Dive Group.

The past half year has been what i would call the dullest moment of my NTU career. my IA was a washout and truth be told, i did not really enjoy my time there. except for a few nice colleagues, the time there was really only bearable. during then, i had taken up my Lifeguard course. also i had not one but two near-death accidents. thank goodness i survived all that. the bill though is killing me, what with the insurance still dragging their feet.

these 2 years have really come and went at a blink of an eye. if you ask me what i cherished and missed most during these 2 years, it would have been my time with my EID group. those 5 weeks i'll never forget for as long as i live. malcolm would say that it is time i let go but even he agrees with me that those were the best times we had have at NTU.

final year, a new challenge. more modules, with graduation an aim to meet by the end of this academic year. had 5 lectures today. all were going through the introductory lectures except for M462, which the was the only lecture to go into the syallabus proper. my PEs lectures seemed ok. although i must add that for my M442 - Human Factors In Design module seems to be a killer PE. but then again, it is very much into ergonometry and the way humans interact with the machines, very challenging, i like. in te meanwhile, i have decided to continue cycling to school. it takes about the same amount of time to travel to school by public transport with the added incentive of exercise. after being so fat since the age of 10, it is time i started doing something about my weight. mainly, it is to get my self back into shape and have a healthier body. partially, as all guys would say, it is also because of a gal. hee hee. i guess my accident was really a blessing in disguise, helping me shed the initial 10kgs. have lost 23kgs since the beginning of the year and hope to reach my ideal weight soon. any takers?

preparing for the start of my final year at NTU

school starts tomorrow. "~~YEAH~~" went to work in the morning so that i could have the night off. however, the moment i reached home, i was so tired i fell asleep the moment i was on my mattress. thank goodness i did the morning shift. allowed me to squeeze in a dvd movie while working. also allows me to wake up at night now to start collecting my lecture stuff from edventure. ah......edventure. it seems so long ago the last time i logged on into it. last December i think. quite some time. hahahahaha

yeah, finally got my terapin dvd recorder

My new DVD Recorder

i finally got the terapin dvd recorder. only $269. cheap cheap cheap. it records using DVD+R or DVD+RW. there is no in built HDD as those start from $599. this recorder is pretty good. it can support all sorts of media, DVD+R, DVD+RW, DVD-R, DVD-RW, VCD, MP3CD, SVCD, DVD, Kodak-CD, CD-R, CD-RW, JPEG-CD. it is an unkown brand but so what? it's good. i just finished watching kung fu hustle on it and everything turns out good. now all i need is a good sound system to compliment it. anyone willing to donate?

I think this is the $49.90 DVD player

i need a gal with sass to berate me

lazed arouund in bed till late. when i sai late it was almost 3.30pm before i eolled off my mattress. so tired. iwhen i woke up, i felt i needed a bit of change and went to have a haircut. nothing spectacular, just shortened my hair that's all. then i dropped by queensway shopping centre and looked around for a pair of oakley sunglasses. damn are they expensive. a polarized pair costs at least $350+, while a pair of polarized single lens costs minimum $414. i looked around and tried on a few pairs but did not buy anything. i then went down to orchard to window shop. cycled there to really do pure window shopping so that in case i didn't get anything, i would not have spent any money, not even on bus fare. doing shopping alone is so boring. i think i need some gal with alot of sass to berate me over my decision to get a pair of oakley sunglasses. i am not rich and my money saved up are meant for my teeth repair yet i was even comptemplating splurging $400+ on a pair of sunglasses. stupid stupid stupid.

simulation is nothing compared to the real thing

today's lifeguard duty was a real eye opener for me. and in case you were thinking otherwise, no, there were no lefties or righties making any appearance. one of the halls were having their foc pool event today and one of the event consists of a confidence jump off the 3m & 5m diving platform.

in the course of my lifeguard training, we had simulated how a non-swimmer would react but boy were we far from it. before the event began, we gave the freshmen/women a briefing about the safety and the procedures for the confidence jump event. a demo was conducted by Nor (one of the seniors of the Lifeguard Corps) to show them the proper way to execute the compact jump. only a handful of gals were wearing bikinis and they were advised to put on a t-shirt for the jump to prevent any accidental "spillage". the non-swimmers were reassured that we would help them immediately after they have entered the water and not to grab on to us but on to the buoy which we will slide on to them. the freshies were split to their various OGs and they carried on with their events at other locales within the pool complex. the OG that were waiting to go for the jump were split into swimmers, weak swimmers (those not able to swim even one length of the 50m pool) and non-swimmers. the swimmers started off the jump followed by the weak swimmers and then the non-swimmers. the swimmers and did not gave Nor & I and problems. there were a few weak swimmers who panicked some but we were on hand to get them each time.

the non-swimmers allowed me to learn a valuable lesson on non-swimmers identification. even without my goggles, when i observed them underwater, they were struggling very badly. though scared, they were very cooperative when we passed them the torpedo buoy to hold on to after we have retrieved them from below the water surface. seeing the way they struggled, it made me feel that what we did in training was no more than "tickling" the water. overall, i felt the gals did better jumps than the guys. they followed instructions better, though we had a gal hitting the water at almost 45 degree angle as she became scared and started flailing her arms on her way down, after she jumped off from the 5m platform. ouch.

during their finale event at the pool, we had to keep a lookout for the non-swimmers and made sure that their life jackets were secured. however, it must be noted that most of the life jackets which was borrowed from SRC were either very ill-fitting or in need of repair. one of the gals who went into the water was suddenly struggling when she realised she could not touch the floor. i quickly tossed her a float so that she could get herself safely back to shore. (another lesson objective put to use) when she got back to the side, i heard her lamenting to her friends why nobody told her that the water was so deep. haiz. peer pressure can be such dumb killers at times.

i learnt alot from today's event and was also able to put into to use some of the techniques i learnt from my lifeguard course. it could be considered my most challenging event thus far. i got to applaud the freshies for being so courteous. really makes our effort worthwhile. "thank you lifeguard" hwah, music to my ears. hee hee.

more lifeguard duty

i had my second lifeguard duty today. my life guard corps vp contacted me and asked me if i wanted to take the duty today. since i was free, i agreed. when i arrived, i found another of my fellow lifeguard coursemate with his foc charges. then he say he knows why i'm doing the lifeguard duty for his hall. i swear i did not know which hall i was covering the freshmen orientation camp pool activities for before i arrived. he kept claiming i had ulterior motives for taking the duty today but i did not. haiz.

watching them play, it was both funny and boring. funny because of some of their activities like jousting while standing on floats in the pool. it was really funny seeing the participants having a go for each other. boring because all you do is see. everything was ok till the tug of war event. dur to some safety implications, we had to restrict them or they could have hurt themselves. the activity was allowed to go on but with restrictions to safeguard their well-being. they were supposed to deploy their own people to act as barriers at the edge of the water but as the game got on, the human barriers turned around and started pulling along. i had to blow my whistle, first time blow whistle as lifeguard leh, and remind them of their safety. during the second and third round, the same thing happened again. i decided that there was no imminent danger to me if i acted as the barrier and had to stand at the waters edge to prevent them from slipping and knocking their head on to the floor. it's ok if they fall into the pool but if they slip and knock their heads against the floor, it would have been hell of a mess.

desolated bbq

one begins to wonder why we even bothered to pay the money to book the pit for the BBQ when it is apparent that there is no body else in the park having a bbq. but then again, when we passed other pits, we noticed that the lamps for the other bbq pit areas were not turned on. so maybe the booking fee is for the lamp power and the clean up tomorrow morning.

all in all we all ate heartily. those present were myself, Benedict, Herman, Keng Hwee, Shaun Wei, Wee Meng, Justin, Mark and Wenhao who managed to put in a cameo appearance towards the end. i was glad that we did not waste much food. we managed to finish all the drinks and in the end only had 3 cans of Stella Artois beer and 5 packets of sausages left. not bad considering the food available could have fed 10 people easily. at least the guys liked the food. phew, i was afraid they might not like the new marinade i tried. hee hee. it's a minor success.

we chatted and just caught up with each other's ongoing. Wee Meng & myself are about to embark on our final year at NTU in Civil Engineering & Mechanical Engineering respectively. Benedict is due to fly off in august to begin his PhD course in Behavioral Sciences at Bochum, Germany. Herman is starting his PhD in Polymers at NTU next week. Wenhao is back for a while before returning this thursday to sydney to continue his 2 year architecture course. Shaun Wei is currently on an internship with DBS bank and due to fly back in August to CMU in Pennsylvania, USA, to complete his final semester for his Masters. Mark has graduated with honors in Psychology from NUS and is now working as a copywriter on a temp basis while waiting for a perm job doing research. Justin has graduated from Murdoch University and has been working in a small production firm since he returned from Australia last December. Keng Hwee is currently a sales rep at Robinson's and applying to begin his polytechnic course next year. all in all, everyone is healthy.

one wonders where all the rest of the ariguys are at now. i hope everyone is doing fine and that we'll be able to have a bigger gathering the next time round.

marinating slacker

whole day just lazed at home. sleeping mostly. dunno why i am so tired. just didn't feel like getting out of bed. it was not until 2pm that i finally rolled off my mattress and went to wash up. hee hee.even after that, i just continued to laze and just dozed off again until night.

woke up around 8pm washed up again and headed out to get a few other stuff for the bbq tomorrow night. took another trip up Mount Faber again. Going up now seems like a breeze or maybe because i was resting the entire day that i got that little bit more energy. hahaha. coming down was hazadors as the fround was wet so i basically slowed to a crawl on my bike. don't want no accident again.

came home and started marnating the sotongs. whipped up a special marinate that i always wanted to try. i blended 6 tomatoes with 1 orange and about 3 table spoons of rosemary leaves. then i split the marinade into 2 uneven portions. the portion that was lesser had sambal belachan added to it and i blended it further before placing the squids into the marinades. took out another bottle of sambal belachan and added rosemary leaves to it and bleneded it too. it smells a bit nicer. keeping this new belachan for the sting rays. i'm not marinating the sting rays because i find no point as the belacahn will more than do it's job when i wrap the sting ray in banana leaves. hwah. thinking of all the food has me salivating. i can't eat the chicken though. my teeth not prepared for it though.

bikinis are flimsy

had my first lifeguard duty today. was told to arrive at 7am at NTU SRC pool only to find out that the NTU Sports Club wanted to start early but had no approval. in the end, weisiong and i hung around till 10am before the event proper started. i need to add though, it was waste time man. the Sports Club had 4 waves of swimmers coming in to swim 50 meters each. that's it! i think they were having some sort of competition from the Freshmen camp and were trying to urge each other to move quick and fast. here come the highlight of the day. during the second wave, one guy was over zealous in helping his female counterpart out of the pool, he lifted her up so fast, the water displaced her bikini top. lo and behold, "lefty" said "hi". the cheering which was going on so loudly and raptiously together with all the video filming and photo taking, suddenly died to a whimper. up to 20 over people were introduced to "lefty". i missed making acquaintance with "lefty" as i was more intent on looking after my charges at my side of the pool. damn! wasted! on a less "happening" event, another gal in the final wave, who could not swim, was practically doing aqua jogging while wearing a life vest with 2 guys towing her. man! this is only swimming. when the hall games come in, would there be more wardrobe malfunctions? as i have always said, bikinis are flimsy pieces of cloth. i did not see a single gal today not adjusting her top before getting out of the water. bikinis create too much drag and are not conducive for swimming. ever.

bbq prep

went shopping today for the bbq food. it has been postponed to Tuesday. Bought chicken fillets and chicken leg meat, 1 kg of sotong balls, 3 packets of crab sticks, 10 packets of sausages, 8 bottles of soft drinks. Plus the marinating stuff and eating utensils, $70 already. charcoal and pitt booking not even counted in yet and lets not even start on the beer. in a previous e-mail, kenny says that he will be back in mid-july, let's hope he can join us.

got a last minute notice for lifeguard duty tomorrow at NTU. 7am-12pm. my first duty. hope that everything will turn out fine.

meetup with the airguys

had a meetup with some of my fellow "airguys" on Tuesday night. we call ourselves airguys because we were all in the same ECA during our SJI days, NCC(AIR). benedict, herman & myself met early at about 4.30pm at city hall mrt station. as i was very tired having come straight from work, i was sitting at the steps with my head bent down taking a quick nap. when benedict arrived, he could not recognise the human body that was catching forty winks at the steps on the left and proceeded to the steps on the right to wait for the rst to arrive. hee hee. as i had told herman where i would be, he knew that the human from was me and could pick me out immediately after coming out of the station. he woke me up and asked me if i saw any of the guys. i asked him to check the right to see if anyone was there. when benedict came over, he was slightly taken aback and claimed that he, never in his wildest dream, would have hazard a guess that the one sleeping was me. we traded a few jokes and headed over to Esplanade library. when there, i showed the guys my bike and benedict still does not believe that i cycle everywhere i go. we went up to the roof and took photos like tourists. hahahaha.

Benedict & Alvin

Herman & Alvin

Herman & Benedict

after we were done at Esplanade, we headed to pacific coffee company at one raffles link to wait for the rest to arrive. benedict related to us that he was taking up the PhD course at Bochum, Germany. Hwah! I ribbed him and asked if his german was that fantastic and he told me that his course is in english. hee hee. 4 years in germany, long time man. on the other hand we have herman, having just graduated from NTU with a B.Eng (Materials) 2nd Upper Honors no less, who is about to begin his PhD course at NTU, dealing with Polymer Materials if i remember correctly. Hwah! Double stress. Us three were from the bottom 3 classes of our cohort back in SJI and 2 of them are going to be Academic Doctors in 4 years time.

wee meng joined us soon, late as usual. while at the coffee place, there was this couple next to who was all touchy feely with each other. the gal was practically rubbing the guy everywhere, and i do mean everywhere. wee meng was trying to record their actions with his camera phone till herman made a ruckus of what he was recording. hahaha.

we then proceeded to the marina square food loft after shaun wei joined us. the place looks pretty good but alas, i still cannot go for solid food and took a chance to catch another forty winks while the guys were having dinner. we wanted to book a bbq at the axs station but when we noticed that practically all the pits were available, we decided to take chance and not book the pit. hahahaha. the guys wanted dessert and we headed to palais renaissance on separate ways, me on bike, they by mrt. i arrived in less than 10mins and the guys took closer to twenty minutes. they were like, you speed isit? have wheels will travel man. anywhere anytime. the dessert shop was closing so we headed to BigO at wheelock place. it seemed like it was under the same umbrella as NYDC. whatever. keng hwee joined us after his work and he looked to be getting prosperous.hahaha

we made arrangements for our bbq on Monday night and set it to start at about 6pm at Pasir Ris Park Area 3 Pit number 1, near to the children's playground. everyone and anyone who knows any of us are welcomed to join us but please let me know before hand so that extra food can be prepared.

Keng Hwee, Herman & Alvin

Shaun Wei & Wee Meng

Wee Meng & Benedict

Shaun Wei, Wee Meng & Benedict

Before (Mmm)

After (Yummm)

Oops, my big head got in the way

I am most definately not the intended target of this shot

lunch vouyerism

my usual lunch time is 30 mins at work but i managed to ask for an extension to 45 mins because i was having lunch with her today. she looked so much more comfortable in her jeans and blouse. we went to kfc at plaza singapura for lunch. i sat there while looking at her eat. i was just sitting there and watching her eat. the way she bite and the way she chew. i was practically staring. haha. did not want to look like an idiot so i looked away now and then. i think she knew i was looking very intently on the way she was eating. ooops. till today, although we have been meeting up for three days in a row, i still ask myself if i am doing the right thing. i'm having doubts because i do not know where all this will end up at. ok, i got a a gut feeling it will not turn out the way i would like it to but there's another part of me that says there may be something so let's just wait and see. guys do not like rejections. heck, nobody likes rejections. but i have got to bide my time on this because i have promised myself this is the final roll of the dice and i should not be hasty about it.

missed lunch and fyp beginnings

missed a chance to have lunch with her today. arggg. she looked nice in her dress today. come to think of it, i have not really seen her in a one piece dress before. always has been 2 pieces, jeans & t-shirt or blouse & skirt. if i remember correctly, her concert dress was a 2 piece. haiz. this woman, in the words of Emil Chou, 让我欢喜让我忧.

went to school after work on my bicycle to meet the PhD student to discuss my FYP today. got some background from him about the stuff i'll be working on. Man, it looks electronics heavy. arggg. i'm specializing in Innovative Design in my final year but my FYP is based upon nanotechnology but branched towards microelectromechanical systems or in crude speak, mechatronics. got some books to read to pick up upon my work. it looks scary but it intrigues me. i hope i do a good job and get a good grade. with 50% of my degree banging on my final year results, my FYP, especially, together with the rest of my yr4 modules will make or break my chances of graduating with a 3rd class honors. according to one of the professors, for poly grads like me in NTU, FYP & IA alone stands for about 10-15% of our degree. welll, one down, one more to go. my friends, that were together with me from the Class of 96 at SJI, have all just graduated with honors. hwah, stress man! 2 of them are going to start their PhD course soon, one at NTU, one at Bochum, Germany. Super Stress!

today has been a nice day

today could have been considered a good day. i don't usually work on tuesday mornings but so happen had been assigned the tuesday morning shift. i was beginning to wonder when on earth will she ever attempt to contact me. finally, after being with the club since last wednesday, she messaged me and asked me to go lunch. ok, i was very happy but did not want to appear too eager. my lunch break is supposed to be 30mins but since i was lunching with her, who cares about the time. hahaha. i dragged my lunch break to 1hour 15 mins. i've got to be real careful though. got an irritant of an asshole HR manager around.

of reservoir and bike shower

went to school today intending to meet the PhD research fellow to discuss my FYP with. alas he was in a meeting when i arrived and i did not get to see him. i left NTU and decided to go along jurong port road & west coast again. when i passed Pandan reservior, i could not resist the temptation and turned in to cycle around the reservior. the track was 6km long and was paved with sand & gravel. thankfully it was not loose so cycling on it wasn't very slippery. i just kind of liked cycling around the water body and look foward to going for diving again in September. halfway through the track, there was some constrution going on and i had to get off and push my bike through. not realizing that the soil was very loose, i got clumps of loose soil all over my wheels and bike. although most of the soil and mud "flew" off when i begun pedalling again, bikey needed a through bath. along the journey home, i kept brushing my shoe against the front wheel as i was in motion to get rid of as much soil as possible. i even purposely cycled into water puddles to wash off what i could. reaching home, i gave bikey only her second proper bath since i got her. tired after cleaning her up, i took a shower and went to sleep. got work tomorrow. heard that my job is on the line again. i'm not surprised though.

third time's a charm? i'm dun intend to find out.

after the recent bombing in London, a very big issue just dawned upon me. my second uncle's family on my mum side have survived 2 disasters within a year. Back in December, my uncle, together with my aunt who was visiting, was working in Sri Lanka when the Tsunami struck. thankfully, he was not working in the coastal regions but further inland. my cousin, the eldest daughter of my second uncle, is currently working in London when that dastardly attack happened. from what i gathered, she was in the other part of London when it happened. in between, i survived my own near-life-ending bicycle accident. oh my, it seems that this past year hasn't been very good for me and my family.

talking about bicycle accident, i remember back in 2003 when i had just joined NTU not long. a fellow schoolmate was involved in an accident and had died. no offence to Alvin Boey and his family. i can not say i knew Alvin because before the accident was flashed in the news, i didn't even knew him. why i picked upon this to relate because in life, you never really know who your friends are till something happens. when news of that accident broke, for reasons unbeknownst to me except the local media, the name of the student was reported as Alvin Ho. yup same name as me. it was repeated in all the news telecast and in the papers. Alvin Ho was spoken printed and flashed over and over again in the local media when in fact the person was Alvin Boey. what made it even more eerie was that this guy was in the same course, same year and same age as me. when news of this broke out, i did not even realise till i had a hurried phone call from my secondary school friend, Benedict. he called my home and asked for me. he seemed anxious and very reserved. i was perplexed as to what happened and he told me that he was afraid that the person in the news was me. i assured him i was alright. after that, Herman called. seeing that things might get abit out of hand, i decided to call my mum and my extended family to put them at ease. got a couple more calls from my secondary school mates and everyone was glad i was ok. thanks guys, i really appreciate your concern. what vexed me though was that, nobody from my camp bothered to call and find out if i was ok. in fact, when they heard the news, some were even sniggering. thanks guys, i feel so "safe" trusting you guys. i know i'm mister unpopular but you guys are so fricking "compasionate".

couple of months later, when i was involved in my project term, EID, this topic was raised again. we were all into the groove and had got to know each other better. during lunch one day, Karen had happened to bring up the topic. when she read the news initially, she was thinking, "Oh my, we have not even met to begin out project and he's dead?" well, now that so many things have happened since, Karen, I wouldn't blame you if you wished that it was i who was in the accident back in 2003. then again, i know you are not capable of such malice. you are capable of being hard hearted but i know it is not you to have such immoral thoughts. however, if such thoughts did cross your mind, especially after my accident back in April, I forgive you.

many a times, we always take for granted the things we have, we never really cherish what we have till we lose it. we think that everything we have is so because it is our right. nothing in life is ever yours because it is your right. someone, be it yourself or someone else, had to fight for it, work towards it, before you got it. in life, there are no constants. trains can be late, taxes can be adjusted, even a very fat person can become just normal fat. when things change, we often are only seeing what others want us to see. this is so because if we are shown what we do not want to know, we would be resistant to the issue. we always need to look at things from different perspectives, not just from both sides of a coin. doing so will help us accept the issues, to allow us to have our individual opinions. else, we would be no more than a relay station or worse, a broken record.

lousy slacker, moping idiot

holed myself at home the whole day. did not get anything constructive done. all i did was update my chinese mp3 id3 so that everything will be in chinese. alot more to go. a person without a life would most likely be like me, just stoning away.

she was online around 7pm but did not say hi until 10pm. what to do. she has so much more to do and so many more people to be busy with. this early morning around 5am, i even dropped her a message asking her out. alas no reply. ok, i made a mistake yesterday. i guess i was a bit upset and had mistaken the gal in the photo with her as a guy. sorry. i can't help but feeling things are really spiralling to the end. well...all good things must come to an end. maybe this one is about to fizzle out before it even started? I Am Giving The Dice One Final Roll. If Things Are Not Meant To Be......Well, Here Today Gone Tomorrow

i really miss her and am beginning to be a lousy moping idiot again. our chat on MSN seemed so forced. i really don't know what to do anymore. we work at the same place, separated by 4 floors but we have never met. is it my indecisiveness or her confidence which is wearing me down?

look, it's her

i was heading to plaza singapura yesterday during lunch to get a copy of the new paper. as i crossed the traffic junction in front of park mall, i thought i saw somebody familiar. the jacket and body shape looked familiar from behind. hmmm...white sandals. all in one glance as i approached the traffic lights just before it turned green, allowing me to continue moving on without breaking my stride. even if the person called me i wouldn't have heard anything. i had my mp3 player on.

is it me or how is it everytime i try asking someone out, the only thing i get is i'm busy. after a few "I'm Busy", it would seem obvious the person does not want to see me. fine. showing off her latest bf on MSN too. oh my, it is so freaking obvious. i get the point. then why does she still ask if i'm off duty tomorrow. i said yes and was hoping for something, anything. bah, i have to face the truth. she's pretty, attached and has never seen me anything more than a very good friend. i don't want to be just a very good friend ok. arggg. i hate ambiguous relationsihps. i've made my fair share of moves. let her take the step this time if i mean anything more than just a very good friend. i'm not being hard-hearted, i'm being realistic and facing the truth. no point harping on someone if the person offers me something that i do not want.

how to scold someone who just wouldn't listen

Mandarin/Cantonese version
讲又不听
听又不明
不明又不问
问又不做
做又做错
错又不认
认又不改
改又不服
不服又不说

Singlish version
Say also don't listen
Listen also don't understand
Don't understand also don't ask
Ask also don't do
Do also do wrong
Wrong also don't admit
Admit also don't change
Change also not happy
Not happy also don't say

does feelings equates to niceness?

have you ever wondered why, no matter how exasperated you are with the other party, you are still nice to them? have you ever wondered how is it that you can have so much anger for someone, and yet still be nice to them?such is the mysteries of liking someone. if you don't have feelings for the other party, it will be difficult to bring yourself to be extra nice to the person.

feelings are emotional reactions we have to any given object or person. we feel because we care. it is not possible to have feelings for someone or something that you have neither seen nor heard. just as well, feelings have to be nurtured. feelings are like plants that grow within your heart. it provides comfort and creates anxiety. it is not easy to let someone go as easily as everyone thinks. just like allowing a plant to wither and die off, feelings which are not reciprocated have to be neglected and ignored, so too the party concerned. for any form of contact would be like a tiny morsel of water and sunlight which will just keep the plant alive.

dove firming cream shower

ok, i admit. i lost alot of weight and can not stand the unsightly flab all around my tummy. when i looked in the mirror, my side profile has improved alot. but the hanging love handles that i have been having since Primary 5, not so good looking. so i succumbed to the temptation and purchased the Dove Firming Cream Shower. yes, i bought it. go ahead and laugh. now that i have slimmed down, i would also like to look good abit mah. hee hee. for who, i dunno. no luck with lady love yet leh.

Mei Ling's coming to work at the club i'm working at tomorrow. she's taking over Zhen Quan's place, whom left barely one week into his new job after getting an offer from a common friend at NIE. young people nowadays ah, haiz. she got no background in accounting and i hope that things will not be too difficult for her to handle as she is slotting in as an accounts asst for 3 weeks. she's supposedly innocent, if you believe her, so i demand that Jasper from membership and any other guys from the club to keep their paws off her! i may be on third floor but i got ears and eyes everywhere.

laptop's back

my laptop is finally back after being to Toshiba for the upteenth time. this is the 5th HDD in the past year that they have changed for me. haiz. Toshiba's inadequecy is so apparently appalling. i wonder how long this HDD will last before its failure again. looks like i got the lousier end of the draw. haiz.

oooh yeah!

it has arrived! finally! it has been done! the magical number has been achieved! I have lost 20KGS! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! now although still overweight but am so much lighter than before. 76kgs only. next target: reach ideal of 68KG, must attempt to make it before school starts. sensible dieting, or in my case liquid diet, and exercise is the way to go. took me so long to realise. hahahahaha

are we guilty of being nice for a reason?

when you treat someone nice, have you ever wondered why you are doing so? and how is it that when you can be nice to a stranger but be utterly ruthless to someone you know? there is a saying that it is a sin to expect returns when you treat someone nice.

if so, have all the couples in the world sinned? if one does not treat the other person especially nice, will they ever be able to win the heart of the other? whenever has someone not have to be extra nice to the other to win the heart of the one he/she likes? but relationships are reciprocal, it can't work if the other is not willing to even try.

has the governments of the world over sinned? if they do not look after their citizens, can they stay on in power? some dictators treat their citizens well, some do not. however, good or bad, even dictators have to be nice to their lackeys so that they do not turn against him, to keep their loyalty. but even dictators do have their downfall, world events in the past decade is evidence that no one government or dictator is able to stay in power for long.

so then we have to ask ourselves, if things are so grim when we treat others nice, why do we carry on with it? it just that we all have a reason for being nice to someone or something. no matter how we try to make the reason seem so great, so selfless, there is always an underlying reason. it sure feels nice when you treat someone nice and that person reciprocates in however small a way. this reason, which always starts from within, of putting one self at ease or making oneself happy, does not make any act really selfless, right?

dehydration

never, never attempt long distance cycling without hydrating yourself properly. i cycled to NTU from home and was properly hydrated before i left. i was still ok by the time i reached NTU. however, after settling my issues in NTU, i only had a quick sip of water from the water cooler and proceeded on to Fort Canning. halfway through, i was feeling the effects of dehydration. i felt very very dry inside. plus i was visibly very very tired. my speed slowed to a crawl. it was really an excrutiating journe and i sipped water when i reached Fort Canning. drinking too fast after such an experience will only damage my inner systems. i think i need a camel-pak, anyone willing to give me one?