i was so fat 2.5 years ago!

i managed to get my hands on a video of the award presentation of eid 2003. when i saw myself in the video, i was like OH MY! i looked like a hippopotamus. ahhhhh!!!!!! thanks, in a way, to my accident last year, i am no longer that size. however if i do no control my eating, i will very soon hit that level. got to get rid of the flab. eeps!

final exam merry go round

saw my exam time table today. it was available earlier but i only checked it out today. what a way for a final exam at ntu. i got 4 papers to sit for and all 4 are held at different halls. whatsmore my exam halls are halls a though d. hahaha.

full-time mae, some-time adm

haha. i spend so much time over at the school of art, design & media that i feel more comfortable there than in my own school of mechanical & aerospace engineering. the people there are nice and easy going, nobody is boastful and nobody snaps at you! ahhh......i enjoy my time at my electives then at my core modules. no offence to my core group of friends, who are a great bunch of people, but people outside of engineering seem so much friendlier than the monsters and dragon ladies we have at our place. haiz

where do they go?

What becomes of the broken hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind

Jimmy Ruffin's "What becomes of the broken hearted"

A world that is not as bright as before but need not necessarily be all dark and gloomy.

cover & concealment

In the animal world, all animals show their feelings directly. For example, dogs will wag their tails when they are happy, male lambs would jump high if they are trying to attract the female lambs. However, of all the animals in the world, humans are the only animal to put a camouflage over their feelings. Only humans choose to conceal their feelings and not show what is on their mind. No one else except the person him/herself will know what is going through the person's mind.

learn to give before you love

it would be nice to have someone waiting for me when i return. a person who has given alot for me. when i was down, the person was there to support me. although it may seem to appear that i have taught the person plenty but in actual fact, i have learnt something important from the person. to love, one must first learn to give. i know the person has been keeping things to the person's self and has been very unhappy. i just stood behind the person, listening, never daring enough to tell the person anything. however, now i understand. the most simple form of giving is to promise. therefore, we must never give up and try our best to return to the person to keep the promise.

i read the above in an article and felt that it held very true to human relationships. instead of always having expectations of someone, in actual fact, have we given the someone the opportunity? if we cannot even keep a simple from of trust like a promise, how can we continue to maintain the relationship? too ofteh we have given up when faced with problems, too often we have broken promises when it seems to be the easy way out.

"snowing" at botanic gardens

went to the botanic gardens at 7am this morning. the sight that greeted me when i entered from minden gate was the flowers falling off a tree, not unlike the blossoming of the sakura in japan (i guess, never been to japan before). it was really a site to behold, as if it was snowing. wow!

there were plenty of doggies there with their owners. many times, when i was just sitting on the ground waiting for an opportune moment to take a snapshot of an animal or scenery, the doggies would come and sniff me. hahaha. some even wanted me to play with them. i even had a labrador press its front paws on my back from behind. hahaha. its owner was a young & pretty gal, late teens or early tewenties, and she was very apologetic for her dog's behaviour. she told me that her dog was never like this before. i told her it was alright and played with her dog. damn, should have chated with her more and make friend. hahaha. haiz, these rich gals would never be intrested in normal folks like me, even more a fat normal folk.

hiking and life

when hiking, most people will head downhill if they are lost in the wilds, hoping to leave the area as soon as possible, often not considering their locations. however, singapore has a tropical climate, the woods are dense everywhere, even worse when you head downhill. it will be easier to get lost then. when one is lost, with neither a compass or a map, it is better to head uphill. it will be easier for you to know your location and find the way out there.

life is like hiking, when we are stuck in a mess and continue to rumage around for an answer, many a times the issue will not be resolved. only when we pull ourselves out of it, will we then be able to better discern the issue and find a probable solution.

there is something i should have tackled a long time ago but i had been avoiding the issue for 2 years and never had a chance to tackle it. now that time is running down, i do not know what i should do.

it really depends actually. if there is a cause for concern, i should solve it. however, if the presence of the issue does not really affects me, i should just let it be. if the presence of the issue affects more than myself, it would come down to my character. if i feel that everyone is an individual entity, i would only care about my own interests. i can not please everybody, can i?

i have always told myself, the time is not right. but then again, when is the corect time? i think i am waiting for the opportunity more than searching for the opportunity.

looking for ideas

had my voice presentation today. taught the class how to do perspective drawing. very dry stuff, compared to what my other classmates did. we had a relaxation exercise, a puppet show and a lesson on creating toy parachuting soldiers. hahaha. i hope mine did not bore the class.

got my final project for my photography class in. i have to start work on my official photography project soon. hmmm......what should i shoot? i like shooting people but many of them think i am like a paparazzi. haiz. i am still waiting for claire to reappear in ntu. she agreed to be my subject but i still have yet to catch her in school yet. ooohh......i hope everything goes well.

more photos developed

i was asked why am i not taking the photos of certain people. well......it is not that i do not want to, things are not exactly calm between me and them, even my kind intentions behind the phototaking might not sway them.

managed to print out the contact sheets from the photos taken yesterday. oooh yeah! got some pretty ok pictures. pity some pretty good compositioned photos were blur. ah well, at least i believe i have sufficient photos to work with. might shoot another roll later on to get more choices.

farewell from the school

a little under 3 years ago, i was attending the welcome tea to my course on my own. today, it is the farewell tea. attended not on my own but with a handful of friends. time sure flies and very soon i will be on my way to slogging it out in the corporate world. oooh. i'm gonna miss alot of people.

please let there be no more revisions

i am finally done with the stupid report. i hope. submitted the report today but my prof was not around. hum-dee-dum. hahaha. no more. please let this finally rest.

looking foward to some other things

as with every fyp student, we are all under tremendous stress to finish off our report and get it submitted. the photocopy shop is sure making big money with all the printing and binding being done.

as soon as i am done with this, i am going to embark on a mini-project that i wanted to do for some time. what it is? don't tell you. haha. well, for the lucky few, you will find out in about a week or two.

when will this end?

this stupid fyp report is getting on my nerves. argggg! when will i be done with this? i want to get back to some sense of normaility as soon as possible. hrumph!

spiraling down the depths

what lays ahead looks gloomy. the fyp report is drowning me as i type. all the rearrrangements have made me totally dizzy and i am having a very difficut time putting together the refrencing within the chapters. haiz. when will this ever end?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

non-lesson

today's photography lesson was a non-starter. some students had requested for today's lesson be used for developing the film the previous week and the lecturer agreed. alas, the very students who made the request did not even bother to turn up today, reulting in one lesson being wasted and a lesson being scheduled on the 10th of april, just 2 days before my hrm paper. argggg. such irresponsible behaviour by my fellow classmates have left me feeling very disappointed and bitter. do not make a request if you are not even going to turn up. hrumph!

developing away the evening

i was working on my street photography and portrit photographs for the past 2 days. while my street photography weren't fantastic, malcolm was very sporting in being my subject again. alas, i was unable to create a perfect shot like before as my lowest f-stop setting this time is only 3.5. ah well, i did try my best and after spending the evening developing the negatives till 11pm in school, these are my half-way decent results. thank you to my dear friends for volunteering yourselves. i hope these do not disappont you.

blatant photography

yup, that was what i was doing today. i was going around ntu, observing fellow students, their behavior, their manerisms. armed with a 35mm film camera, i took pictures of their actions, their behaviors. it was all in good fun. well, it was more for my photography assignment but hey, no malice intended. haha.

preparing for presentation

preparing for my presentation tomorrow for my product development management module. the topic to be presented is about the dilema faced by ideo, a top design firm, about accepting the handspring visor pda project, which they eventually did. lots of last minute touchups to be done to get things ready for the show tomorrow.

rearranging starts

time to creatively rearrange and reconstruct my fyp report. damn. really sickening to go through this again. souple more months and i got to work
ohhh. headache here, there, and everywhere.

yawning is not healthy

serious, when you see someone yawn, it just means that the person's body is releasing carbon dioxide. out bodies have a self-protecting mechanisms which will trigger off yawns to rid us of excess amounts of carbon dioxide. excess amounts of it will make us unconscious that is why we feel sleepy whenever we yawn, not the other way around. it is not that we are tired or bored, we just have too much carbon dioxide within. so the next time you are talking to somebody or giving a presentation and somebody yawns, do not be upset. it is just the body mechanism has kicking in.

hibernate first, other later

all that work sure seems yucky. after a hectic week of rushing reports and sleep deprivation, i have decided to let myself hibernate for a day. even with the work piling up, i need rest, else how on earth am i going to continue? i am no superman. i am but a mere mortal.

multiple changes required

haiz. apparently my optimism from the day before was unjustified. after a meeting with my mentor, my report is now like lego bricks, in pieces, waiting to be rearranged. looks like this weekend is another goner. ah well.

but all is not gloom. one of my photo that i submitted for competition got selected among the top 50 pictures. yeah! i do not know whether if the picture will win anything or not but at least i know my photo entry is likely to be published in the coffee-table book to be presented to Queen Elizabeth. yeah!

it's over! i hope

finally! after a lack of sleep since saturday, not having more than a total of 10 hours of sleep, my fyp report is finally completed. yes! submitted it to my professor today but he wants me to run it through my mentor first before accepting it. i hope all goes well tomorrow and then i can finally relax. this zombie needs to be humanized!

zombiefied

with barely more than 8 hours of sleep over the past 72 hours, i have basically turned into a zombie. this fyp report is killing me. it was supposed to be due today but i am still not finished yet. well, i got a bit more to go and soon i'll be done. i hope.

the end is near

the dateline for the submission of the first draft that is. this is such a chore. bloody fyp, it really takes alot out of me. guess i should have started work on it earlier. ah well, no point complaining now. i've got about 10 hours of solid work to put in ahead of me. tired, really tired.

drowning

urrgg. so much info i'm puking all over. this bloody report is making me a bloody zombie. "yeah!" oooohhhhhhhh

more shots on display

wow! some more of my entries have been placed as sample shots for others on the photo competition website. haha. i feel so happy that they have been placed on display. never knew i would have such an opportunity. having them on display does not mean that they stand a higher chance of winning but still......wow! i hope that some of my shots do finally make it into the coffee-table book that will be presented to Queen Elizabeth II.

it's coming

the dateline for the fyp first draft that is. i am starting to wonder how on earth i will be writing mine when i am still all hazy of my work. damn.

the clock is ticking

the dateline for the first draft of the fyp report looms. oooh. tueday is the date and i am still a long way away from the finishing line. i know i can, i know i can, i know i can, i know i can, i know i can, i know i can, i know i can, i know i can, i know i can, i know i can, i know i can, i know i can, i know i can, i know i can...................................................

better looking teeth

yes! i got better looking teeth now! hahahaha! ok, i am still missing a tooth but at least a temporary crown has been placed at the badly damaged tooth location. also, some filling was done to smoothen out the outlook. heez. now at least i do notlook like some 14th century sailor.