Finally!

I finally met her again! The last time I saw her was last year January! My heart beat really fast when I saw her and I really missed her! Haha. I am a hopeless fool still head over heels with her. She seems happier now and still look as beautiful as when I last saw her. It was great finally meeting her again after my many stacatto attempts at chatting with her over MSN. I am really glad she accepted my invitation to meet up for tea, or rather we had Hot Chocolate.

It was raining heavily and I was worried she would get wet. I brought an umbrella along but had no idea which way she was coming from as until now I still do not know where she is teaching at. We chatted about her time at her school and joked about some similar incidents she encountered which I had previously.

I do not really know what to make of this meet up. It could be just 2 people trying to keep in touch. Or just 2 old friends catching up. I don't really want to be just friends but at this moment, I cannot hope for much yet. Yes, I have twice missed the opportunity to broach the subject to her and this could be my final opportunity to make something out of this.

The end of the meet up was kind of a killjoy as we had went to Kinokuniya after our hot beverages to walk abit. She asked me to go look at my books while she searched for hers. When she was done, she gave me a call and said that she was done and had to head off to somewhere else. I wanted to come say goodbye but she said that it was ok and that I should continue looking at my books. Sigh.

No, I do not know if she is attached. I hope not. No, I do not know if I have any chance at all. I hope I do. Yes, I know after all these time, I still want to be with her.

Back At Work

Have been back at work these two days and although I am not unhappy at work, I can not say I am really happy here either. ICT was a welcome relief and coming back to work is not exactly what I need right now. Hmmm......

Sad Case Of The Perfect Singapore Education System

It was with disgust when I read about the case of a very good American teacher, Ms Susan Elliot, being disinvited from the Teachers' Conference 2010 to be held in September. This was due to the fact that a "very-concerned" and "very-objective" staff at MOE HQ, Ms Lynn Koh, who sent out the invitation and disinvitation, or her subordinates/associates found out that Ms Elliot is hearing-impaired. Must we always be so perfect?!?! When people emailed MOE regarding this issue, when Ms Elliot emailed MOE for a clarification, she was informed that she was persona non grata. Even though Ms Sucillia Sukiman, secretary of the Teachers' Conference Organising Committee, has since replied to some of the bombardment to MOE and said that Ms Elliot has been informed of the mistake and that she is still invited to the conference, the damage has already been done. Can I stab you in the stomach with a knife and then just say sorry, expecting you to forgive and forget? The hypocrisy that we live in. Sigh.

I was once in the Education system but got flushed out because I did not concur with the politics of the staff room and got brought up on my many shortcomings. Although I still very much want to be a Teacher again, it is incidents like this that makes me cringe. What are we doing with the students of today? Have we forsaken the holistic growth and well-being of the student for the academic-meritocracy that we as Singaporeans are so famed about? Is the term holistic growth and well-bring just a dream or even just plain lip-service? Has our Honors-conscious society become so perfect that the Teachers of today and tomorrow cannot accept any form of mistakes at all?

Sigh. I know I was, and still am, not the perfect teacher. I had students who did not listen to me in class. I had students who did not submit their homework on time. I had students who had difficulty in understanding the concepts. But never, not once did I ever give up on any of them, not even the ones labelled as problematic by the other teachers. I do not believe I am being naive. Rather, I am being the professional that is expected of me. To treat everyone equally and fairly, regardless of any background, behavior or academic performance. My question then to the battle-hardened and the weary teachers still in the system, are you being the professional that is expected of you?

Commended?!?!

It was really unexpected. I got a commendation for my performance during my ICT. During our debrief from our just concluded ICT, my CO awarded me a Certificate of Commendation for Outstanding Performance during the ICT. When I heard my name mentioned, I was dumbstruck. It was similar to the feeling I got when I was announced as the Platoon Best Trainee during my BMT.

I never expected to be commended for my performance and still cannot think of what I really did to deserve the commendation. I did my duties as did my other mates. True, I was the in-charge but we all pulled our share of work and put in efforts that were not any less from each other. When I was asked why I got the award, my reply was, "I guess at ICTs, us guys are more concerned about getting the job done properly and swiftly then dealing with unnecessary office politics." Everyone had a good laugh when I said it.

Maybe that is why I thrive in an environment where office politics are little or non-existent.
When
- performance is seen as a whole and not isolated incidents
- you are able to give and knowing that the person next to you is also giving
- when your actions benefits everyone instead of the select few
- when there is no need to worry about who gets promoted first
- when you do not have to backstab or worry about being backstabbed
you will perform better.

I would like to thank my officers and specialists in putting me up for this commendation and also to my fellow mates for the hard work we put in togther for this ICT. This is our final ICT together, with the structure changes in place, but you have been a great bunch to work with. All the best in your future endeavours and I hope we meet again.

Almost Done

Soon it will be back to the grind of work again. Ah it sucks! Big time! Haha!

Wake Up Call To Sleepy Head

Sadly one of us keeps having problems booking in on time. Have to give wake up calls to sleepy head else he will be late again. Time to call him now!

Down and Down

Recently she appeared again in my life. We had agreed to meet up for a meal or tea but she claims that she is busy at school. Yes, she has finally joined the teaching service and I understand that it can be a lot of work. But I do hope that we can meet up and catch up again. I really missed her.

Also, my CPU's System fan konked out on me! Ahhhh! Had to go out to get a new fan else my PC will not start.

My laptop is also officially dead. Since November of 2003 it had accompanied me on countless trips. Kuala Lumpur, Pulau Tioman, Pulau Aur, New Zealand(2 trips), Shanghai, Pulau Dayang, Taiwan, Hong Kong. It was my most important equipment when I was a teacher. Now it will no longer turn on. Goodbye and thank you lappie. For your 7 years of service. You have worked hard and deserve your rest.

Booking In

Booking in again in a short while. The bunk we are in now is the bunk that I used to be at during my active time. The bunk where the temperature is insanely low and cold! Brrrrr! I am sleeping with 4 blankets, no less!

Totally Knocked Out

Ooooh Man. I was totally knocked out after doing my duties yesterday. Kept sleeping and sleeping. Those 10 nights of shift work are real killers.

Back In Green

Yup! I am back in green again. Finally. For others, they hate it, find it a disruption from work. For me? I find it a welcome relief although it is irritating that I have to clear IPT or IPPT every year.

Paying Respects

Was at the Mandai Crematorium yesterday to pay my respects to my Granny and Grandpa. It has been almost 3 years since Granny passed on. I really miss her sometimes. I wish I had some companionship nowsadays. I am really tired of this singlehood. Really tired of it. And for the upteenth time, I will not lose weight to gain companionship!

Voice From The Past

Spoke to a friend recently. Well, have not really spoken to her in a really long time. Missed all the chats and gossips we used to have. Haha. Sigh.

More Night Shifts

Am I trying to kill myself? I don't know. All I know is that it is a way of allowing me to clear my uni study loan as soon as possible. From $11k in the beginning of the year, it now stand at $6k. 3 more months of this and I may consider leaving the company.