Tuesday, January 31, 2006

dreams......how real could it be

the first dream i had in the wee hours of the first day of chinese new year was no wet dream. i do not know if it had any significance to what is about to happen to me but if it does the glimpses i got seemed encouraging. it had j & k together as usual but j had that look in her eyes which was sort of questioning me "why are you so distant from us? isn't it time to move on?" while k was her usual self ignoring me but not avoiding me. hmmm......very intriguing indeed.

Monday, January 30, 2006

i think i must glow monster

saw my niece for the first time today, more than a year after she was born. could see a slightly rebellious streak in her and feel that she has the potential to turn into a girl with alot of sass. sounds like someone else i know that is currently so full of sass. and like the person i know, my niece was very afraid to come towards me. her older brother, who is coming to four years old, had no qualms running to me and getting me to play with him. she was very hesistant. when everyone encouraged her to come to me, she kept going, "i don't want". hahaha. only when i was about to leave then she ran to me, and wanted me to carry her. girls sure are fickle minded. damn, this last part has not happened to me with that particular someone i know yet. hahaha.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

happy chinese new year!

happy chinese new year to everyone out there. for us unmarried folks, it's ang paos collection time. for those married folks, yes those that are registered and haven't gone through traditional ceremony included, where are my ang paos?! hahahahaha. one thing good about staying with your granny, you don't do visiting, people will come and visit. save alot on transport. hahahahaah!

Saturday, January 28, 2006

yummy reunion dinner

ooohh yeah! had a very sumptous reunion dinner tonight with my family. there were ham rolls, cod fish, cold crab, "pun choy", vegetables, sharks' fin soup and some baked cheese thingy. i only had problem with the last 2. i am a very avid supporter of the shark conservation program and was disappointed to see the shark's fin soup being served. also, i simply cannot stand the taste of cheese, except pizza, and was nearly out off by the smell of it. other than that, it was a good meal nonetheless. yummmmmm.

Friday, January 27, 2006

another got "killed"

haiz. my sugery 2 weeks ago reveled that one of my damaged tooth is in danger of being reabsorbed by the body. in an attempt to save it, they have to "kill" it, or rather kill the nerves. therefore, another root canal treatment was done today and now......my front 2 teeth are "dead"! haiz. this time last year i still had a full set of nice teeth. one accident and the medical bills and physical damages are still mounting. damn.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

all taken?!

damn. if gals are complaining that all the good guys are taken up, i have the same to say about the gals. gals that i have found cute or very nice or those that have heart of gold are all taken up too! and those that like to make things difficult for others, well, let's just say they are still currently choosing. of which, i don't think i am within their sights. sigh.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

marina promenade......lover's paradise

went cycling earlier and decided to go into marina promanade park to look see look see. i never went in there before, never had the opportunity to, if you know what i mean. hahaha. went all the way to kallang basin before i turned around back to esplanade. along the way i saw plenty of people. couples who were hot and heavy, couples just smooching away, couples groping around. they were not limited to the hetrosexual kind. saw a pair of lesbians as well as a pair of gays. wow! what an eye opener!

Monday, January 23, 2006

do i glow monster?

i wonder if i have this glow which tells a certain someone a monster is approaching. i saw her from afar and she was slowly taking her time strolling down the stairs in front of the main library. as i got within 20m of the staircase, she suddenly quickened her steps and headed off in another direction. hmmmm......do i glow monster?

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The relationship between woman & man

Forget about benefits, self-esteem and identity.
Everyone is equal when faced with love, even more so than the law.
放下利害、放下尊严、放下身份,
爱情面前,比法律更人人平等。

A truly clever woman knows whenever she talks to a man,
She must know less than he does
真正聪明的女人都会知道她无论和什么男人说话时,
懂得的事都应该比男人少。

A man becomes unreasonable with power
A woman gets unreasonable to get power
男人有权就会横蛮
女人要变得横蛮才会有权

The best relationship between husband and wife is,
Intimate yet appropriately distanced, honest yet partially personal
Both enjoy the love and companionship yet both retain some personal room
最理想的夫妻关系是,
亲密而带相当疏离,坦诚中保留部分隐秘,
即可两情缱绻;又有个人天地

Men love obedient women,
But if a man likes a woman,
He will listen to that woman without noticing it
男人都会喜欢听话的女人,
但男人若是喜欢一个女人,
他就会不知不觉地听那女人的话。

Behind every successful woman, there usually is a man who hurts her
Behind every successful man, there usually is a woman who loves him
女人成功的背后都有一个伤她的男人
男人成功的背后都有一个爱他的女人

As a lover, a woman will give a man heartache
As a wife, a woman will give a man headache
做情人的时候,女人会让男人心痛
做妻子的时候,女人会让男子头痛

Men want women to be lovely
Women want men to be reliable
男人认为女人可爱最重要
女人认为男人可靠最重要

Concession, tolerance, submission, acceptance, forbearance, adjustment, understanding, compromise, diligence and acceptance of fate.
All 10 of these can be trained by marriage and love.
迁就、容忍、屈服、接纳、相应、宽恕、谅解、妥协、毅力、认命。
婚姻爱情可训练出这[十项全能]。

A successful man is one who earns more than what the woman spends,
A successful woman gets such a man
一个成功的男人就是能够赚到比女人花得更多钱的人,
一个成功的女人就是能够找到一个这样的男人。

A woman will worry for her future till she has found a husband,
A man never worries about his future till he has got a wife.
一个女人会为未来担心,直到她找到一个丈夫为止。
一个男人从不会为未来担心,直到他找一个妻子为止。

A man wants to be a woman’s first lover,
A woman wants to be a man’s last lover
男人想做女人的初恋情人,
女人想做男人的最后一个情人。

Clever women know frailty is the best tactics against men.
聪明的女人都知道,软弱是对付男人最好的战略

A man with ten thousand women may wish he is the only man to them.
男人就算有了一万个女人,也希望这一万个女人只有他一个男人。

When a woman is desperate, she will marry a man.
When a man is desperate, his woman will divorce him.
女人走投无路的时候会和男人结婚,
男人走投无路的时候,女人会和他离婚。

Love needs no reason but there are thousands of reasons not to love.
爱,毋须找出合理借口;
不爱,则信手拈来万千理由。

Love takes risk. Feelings hurt
What is life without both?
爱须冒险,情更伤神
若无两者;何谓人生?

Why do people always say love is heart breaking?
Why can’t people find joy in love?
为何总是鼓吹爱的要生要死;
而不可以爱得欢欢喜喜?

A man should love a woman more and know her less
A woman should know a man more and love him less
男人对女人应该多一点爱,少一点谅解。
女人对男人应该多一点谅解,少一点爱。

A woman always has the last say in any argument.
If a man continues to talk, that is the start of a new battle.
女人在任何一场争吵中都会说最后一句话,
一个男人若继续说话,就是一场新的战争的开始。

Saturday, January 21, 2006

singapore dates back to 1 A.D.

believe it or not. i was taking a stroll at fort canning park during my lunch break today and was taking the 14th century trail. singapore did not start from the british. the first king of singapore came about in the 1300s. between the first & last king of singapore, or singapura, the island was a very busy interconnecting port. trade thrived with merchants from china doing trade and the indonesian merchants trading their spices here. it was a very important port back then as it was the crossing point of three main shipping lines back then. porcelains, spices, glass, pottery, even elephants. yes, back then, the yuan dynasty emperor of china, sent envoys here to purchase elephants. there was a huge stone slab carved in the 14th century which could have told us more about singapore's history but it was destroyed intentionally back in the 19th century. (hmmm...kind of make you wonder about the coincidental timing eh?)

when the last king fled singapore, he was attacked by soldiers from java for a crime he committed and he later fled to malacca, many citizens moved with him to malacca as well resulting in the population dripping. by the time the british arrived, there were only no more than a couple of hundred people left here.

there was a tiny tidbit of information that i picked up on my walk. apparently, back in 1 A.D., a greek philosopher (can't remember clearly, not sure if it was a philosopher or merchant) mentioned and wrote about a port south of the malay penninsula (not the actual name but i can't remember the actual name) that interconnected the main trade routes. this port was called......, arggg i just cannot remember the name. the location of the port mentioned just so happends to be where our dear singapore is located! which means......we have a much longer history then what discovery channel is showing! our history did not start when the british arrived! our history goes further back.

i also came across the keramat iskandar syah, which supposedly housed the tomb of the first malay king of singapore. while trying to take a photo shot there for my photography project, i kept so still, the pigeons there came up to me and started pecking my shoes and landed on my shoulder. hahahaha. thank goodness no shit. there is so much history out there just waiting to be read if we only bother to take the time to walk around these parks. each time i go to one of this historical landmarks, i always learn something new and have the urge to revisit it again. anybody want to join me?

Friday, January 20, 2006

newton the god?

don't know about you but instead of praying or worshipping to other gods or dieties, my heat trasnfer lecturer claims we should pray to or worship newton instead. for he was the one who kick started science and gave us many valuable laws and theories. but also because of him, us students are suffering too. hmmm....

Thursday, January 19, 2006

voice training

before today i never thought voice training was tough. after just the first lesson in my ge class, boy was i wrong. going through the octaves, finding the resonating areas, learning the various areas of speech qualities. it was hardwork and very intresting. and the sweet looking gal i was looking at on and off during the lesson said hi to me when we passed later on after the class. wow! is it me or is it the face mask? hmmmm......

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

really casual play

played badminton with eric & thomas in the morning. nothing competitive at all as i am still very much in recovery mode. the session was more of a chit chat session with minor strokeplay and more talk. haha. talked about our diving trip last year, any possible plans in may/june and the upcoming diving trip next month.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

second day of pain

the pain has now become a numbing pain but the face or rather the cheek has swelled. owww. went to school wearing a face mask today on the advise of the detist but to everyone else, it is as if they have not seen anybody in a face mask before. a potential 10 man group work was also scrapped today by the lecturer for hrm. he announced of difficulties met before and now it is every man or woman for himself. fine with me, been doing a couple of projects on my own. to some, it must have been a hammer blow for them, especially the potential freeloaders. hahaha.

Monday, January 16, 2006

painful dental procedure

i am not going to damage my tooth again. did the bone grafting procedure today for my implant and it hurts ALOT! damn painful man. can't even sleep properly. owwwwwww!

Sunday, January 15, 2006

threatening but still no rain

woke up to a really bright and sunny sunday morning or rather afternoon. slept till 2pm before i woke up and then started vegetating in front of my computer watching umizaru evolution. it is a japanese drama serial about the scuba diver search & rescue unit in the japan coast guard. besides seeing the dramatized version of what goes on in a search & rescue unit it also peaks my intrest becuase i am still very much into scuba diving and am looking foward still to my rescue diver course, which at earliest would be in june. there is a search & rescue course within the padi certification but the last i heard it is not available in singapore. got to work on my vitamin m situation before i start having so many plans. hahahaha.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

we are never contended

another day of sun today. i remember a couple of months back, everybody was complaining about the hot weather and was wishing for some rain. these past 2 weeks, it practically rained everyday and everybody complained of too much rain. we are never contended with what we have. haiz.

Friday, January 13, 2006

finally......SUN!

after days of rain, rain and more rain, the sun finally shone today! yeah! i woke up early today wanting to head to school for my fyp. having no lessons today, i could concentrate on it. alas, while waiting for the availibility of the toilet after having washed up at the kitchen basin, i fell asleep on my mattress and did not wake till 3pm. oh my! what is wrong with me! i am so dead!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

lozenges are not what they seem

i was attending my first voice production class today and a very big hoax was revealed to me. a multi-million dollar industry hoax. lozenges does more harm than good to you when you have a sore throat. it does nothing to aid the curing of sore-throats. all it does is numbs the throat. that's all. it sends the wrong signals to your brain that your are alright and you thinking you are alright, would inadvertently talk more or eat more chili stuff and aggrevate the situation further. this would only cause more damage to your voice and throat. lozenges are no different from your everyday sweets, perhaps with only the numbing agent within it making the difference. if you have a sore throat, drink more water and speak less. do not even attempt to whisper for whispering strains your vocal cords, whether you are ill or not.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

to a (lost) friend

i have never guarded against her. how she intends to treat me, i am not entitled to question. her friendship for me though past, i have never doubted her sincerity. maybe, back then, in the constant close working environment when there were not so many people around, it was easier to be friends with her. however, today, every move that we may make towards each other will become a subject of gossip among our common friends. to avoid trouble, i have restrained my conduct delibrately. in this world, there is always a time for giving and a time for taking. no matter what the future holds, this friend will always be by her side.

if

all the regrets in this world starts with the word "if". if i had been less hard headed, i might have a girlfriend now instead of an enemy. if i had been more tactful, i would not have chased away a very dear friend of mine. the life of everyone would have been different. if...... i once wished that the "if's" would come true, that i would be given a chance to start all over again. however, what is before us is but a nightmare. people goes though our lives in a flash. the "if's" in our hearts are but wishful thinkings only. maybe that is why, i would rather be awake as much as i can then fall asleep and dream to fool myself. are not we all the same?

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

desire to help

i have always been willing to help others if it is within my means. what i am afraid is that others would not allow me to. some may think otherwise but me wanting to help certain people is not because i want to redeem myself for the wrongs that i have caused on them. i have asked myself that if things did not go sour back then, would i still be so willing to help them should they ever ask? i believe that no matter what, i am still waht i am and i will still not hesitate to offer my assistance. i believe that one must be true in helping someone and not just for redemption. materialistic as this world is, material gain is not everything. with my days at ntu coming to an end, i do not know if they will ever accept my goodwill

motherhood: the origin

that which may be preached is not an enduring lesson. the name that can be called is not an enduring name. there are all kinds of things beyond description that lives but does not exists. work is done but not known to others. ordinary people have knowledge but i do not. ordinary people are happy but i am not. even the universe can not last forever, let alone mankind. there is a beginning to the universe of which is known as the origin. we find the origin so as to know its son. when we know the son, we will safeguard its origin.

drinking away sorrows

one drinks to forget sorrows but one must not forget that when one is drunk, one is prone to get hurt. however, if one is to remember this, one would not be drunk in the first place. drinking to forget one's sorrow is harmful to the health so there is no point in getting hurt while doing do. one would claim that one is not out to hurt oneself but when one is in the greatest pain, one would feel nothing. one would also claim that being alone, there is no one to worry for one. one maybe right. there maybe none today but that doesn't mean that there isn't any tomorrow. there is always someone out there worth to be taken care by one. if one can not have the person and one cannot drive away the sorrow, the only solution then would be for one to send the person away. hide the sorrow and do not let anyone know about it. if possible, one should not even let oneself know about it. to forget is the best medicine for pain.

when one is unhappy, it is alright for one to be drunk. the greater the pain, the slower you drink. one glass at a time, one glass after the other, let it hurt. after that, one will feel tired. when one feels tired, one would by then be very drunk. when one awakes, one will feel better again. this is how one will drive sorrows away by drinking.

by drinking hastilly, one will drink quickly, collapse quickly and forget quickly. as such, i am afraid the pain would not have hurt enough and when one awakes, the cycle would just restart again. what is wasted is not only the wine but one's time and thoughts.

Monday, January 09, 2006

will persistence really prevail?

i am not one to give up easily. although i do not know what really goes on in the mind of the person i like, at least, from what i have gathered, i have yet to hear any adverse comments made by her on me. nothing is cast in stone yet. however, fate is in control. a person like her would have many suitors. maybe there are just too many of them. even if i have the ability to compete, i may not have the strength to carry on with the competition incessantly.

i am not even sure if this issue still weighs in my heart and thoughts. it takes one with much wisdom to have nothing in their heart and i am but an ordinary person. it is impossible that there is nothing in my heart, just how much i can supress it. however, if i do not spill it all out, the stress will just continue to build up till it is too difficult to heal. i wonder, between telling and supressing, is there an alternative?

competition. maybe, the use of the word competition might be the wrong mindset. in any relationship, there is an order. like in a marriage, there is an order of seniority between husband and wife. however, the relationship between husband and wife is not confined to the acts of pleasing and serving. if one is to care and love sincerely, even if the other party has plenty of suitors or babes around, the person will still feel the love. i believe if one has true love, one should be able to beat the others and win the favor of the person one loves. besides, even if fate does not allow it, one still gets something, for you have truly loved afterall.

to cure one's illness, one's heart must first be treated. so long as one is in a joyous mood, all illnesses will vanish. the more important she is to me, the greater the burden it is to supress. all the more i should consider letting it all go. perhaps there really is an alternative?

Sunday, January 08, 2006

what is love?

You can never force someone to love you. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, sometimes the effort can all just prove futile. Love is the trickiest of all human emotions. It is understandable how one would do everything to please the person they love. It hurts the most when the person you love, loves more than one person at any given time.

A person who wants to get the best for him/herself but makes trouble at the same time is actually working against him/herself.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

is there any difference between a playboy and a normal person?

the worse way to win a man's heart is to obey his every wishes for men will feel bored by that. the common method is to refuse him sometimes. let him see it but do not let him get it. the best method though, is to create his want and refuse to satisfy it. such gals are definately more than a handful for the average guys but what about for playbooys?

i once thought living a life of a playboy might help one to forget the worries and troubles of everyday life. alas, such thinking was foolhardy. the way i see it, life is still very much the same. there is nothing we can control, whether in life or in our career. will the playboy then be any happier than i am?

Friday, January 06, 2006

onward fyp

i hope it really is true, onward fyp. still feeling the after-effects of my illness but still heading to school to continue with my fyp. in the beginning of the semester, i was hoping to sign up for 3 elective module to enrich myself but with time a premium, i decided to drop my plans and focus on the one allocated to me and the other photography module which i hope i can still squeeze into. as such, my fridays are now free for my fyp. progress is too slow even for my liking and i supposedly work better under stress.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

feverish with flu

woke up feeling worse than before. had wanted to head to my fyp lab in the morning to put in some work but was still down ill. by mid-day i had recovered some and headed to school for a 1 hour lecture and to try my luck at getting an elctive module that i was not allocated. the lecturer was really nice and she will see what she can do in getting me in but as there are limited number of computers and developing equipment, chances are not high. by the time the neet and greet session was over, my head was heavy and my condition worsened. should have stayed home to rest but if i did, i might not have a single chance at getting into the photography module that i would like. i hope i get in.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

sick but still playing

woke up with a sore throat and knew that i will be falling sick soon. had a game of badminton with malcolm and eric in the morning. even though i and eric teamed up against malcolm, we were still trashed by him. we amatueres really need more fine tuning. by the end of the day, i was already leaking non-stop and knew fever will soon follow through.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

sub-consciousness

some time back in year 2, i had written an e-mail to my classmates about sub-consciousness and the potential benefits. 2.5 years down the road, this topic is now revisted by my lecturer for human resource management. the mind is really a very powerful tool, if we are only able to tap into the sub-concious state. doing so will make many of our task second nature. we would not have problems recalling issues. the potential benefits of the sub-conscious mind is really great, if we only know how to tap into it.

Monday, January 02, 2006

why do we work?

we work not so much to enjoy life but to make life meaningful. don't succumb due to poverty and don't change your mind for riches. rules which will guide us in the way of life. for everything that we do and enjoy, it should never be done at the expense of others or through ill-gotten gains. living a life with no regrets is difficult but living a life with a clear conscience is just a matter of choice.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

to a good year ahead

ah. here we are. 2006. a new year. also the transition year for me. come June, i would be expecting to graduate from ntu with a bachelor in engineering (mechanical), any honors or what class, stil not too sure. after that, into the workforce. ah, work, life begins now. hahahaha. to everybody out there, HAPPY 2006!